A little better

I just don't think I can be the same Natalie who used to keep a blog.  I don't know why.  What's so exciting about life that I should remember?  I am going to give it another shot. 

Sunday, I am at the library for no particular reasons.  Or perhaps, I don't want to go to church with my parents.  As a matter of fact, I should first ask myself, "Do I really want to see them?"  No, heck no.  Everytime, they see me, they will just yell at me about I don't have money to pay off my debt.  What else can I do?  I am poor enough that I am not sure if I have money to buy food anymore.  What else can I really do about the freakin' student loans? Or should I say, why bother should I spend all my time at UW and at the end I don't even have a stable job that gives me money?  That's right, that's the reason I am at the library.  I need to run away from parents' yelling.  It's up to a point I am really annoyed.  They will just show up at my doorsteps without any headsup.  Excuse me?  This is not my apartment! 

I hate life.  No one can imagine I will be working at JCPenny as a stockroom person.  This is not just an insult, but a really embarassing insult.  I am not solely talking about they only give me $8.60 an hour and more importantly, they think they have given me more than I should have gotten.  Okay, if this holds true, they should at least give me two breaks and a lunch, yeah?  Fuck that, I should be thankful that I have a lunch.  I worked there for two weeks and I can't take any breaks.  Not even a second to spare at the bathroom.  I get yelled at everyday for being slow.  I almost forgot how much I used to hate shopping at JCPenny because of bad sales associates' attitude.  They don't pay me for lunch so I must take mine.  I think I deserve better.  In fact a lot better.  People from there will say something, "I am already being really patience with you and I think I am....."  Don't give me that, you are not my mom, or in fact, the person who said that to me was not even my boss..... Why should I have to put up with all those bull shit?  You know there are times I can work my ass off just to get settled down in a new working environment and there are times, I think, I think I should just give up and move up.  Which category does JCPenny fit into? 

Busy weekend

This past weekend was my first weekend since working at JCPenny.  I always think that weekend are boring because most of the time, I am staying in my apartment, but you will know how good weekend is if you have to get up at 4 am and running around the whole JCPenny with heavy clothings.  Something I always wonder about, "Why do people need to work so hard to survive (or strive for a better standard of living?)" There's this girl at JCPenny, she works her butt off and she is so driven (as Stefan says, but for me, she is all "high mainence," especially, I work under her.)  Then I found out, she doesn't make as much as everyone.  I couldn't help but wonder, "Why does she have to work so hard?" In United States, people work for money, and insurance.  These are the only two things people are indeed striving for.  How many people actually work on somethings they really enjoy, and after the eight hour shift, they leave their work place, and say, "What a wonderful day at work?" 

Friday, afterwork, Paris, Stefan and I went to Portland.  We took the train and it was kind of fun.  But I wouldn't call it an extremely fun trip.  Partly because I was really tired. Friday night, we didn't have dinner till midnight.  I was up for almost 24 hours.  The next day, I just wish I could sleep all day.  We went to Powells and I got some books.  I got this book that teaches how to make pot holders.  It's really good.  (Don't be surprised if you get my homemade potholder for Christmas, now you know the reason!) The same day, everyone went to this friend's house and again I stayed home all night.  That seems to be the trend.  At my parents' house, I always stay home, now I stay home, at Portland, I stay home as well.... I still don't think I am anti-social.  Just that I don't think I enjoy drinking.  And unfortunately, this seems to be part of the social norm.  If you want to be cool, you must drink!  I just can't stand that.  Sunday, I just didn't care as much, but wish that I could really go back to Redmond.  Then, I found out the train was not leaving till 6:15, which meant we couldn't go home till 11.  I kept thinking how the hell can I get up the next day?  At that moment, i really, really considered the trip was messed up..... (other than the fact that I made awesome potholders.) 

Today, I decided to call in sick. Actually Stefan helped me tell my boss.  I woke up, I had this horrible headache, so technically, I wasn't lying.